Normalcy

an orthodox of what is expected and good

The Greek origins of the word normal trade back to roots meaning well-known. The condition of being normal is to experience what is typical, expected, and usual. Normalcy is what you are relatively comfortable with; it is the ability to unravel all that you embody and all that you are becoming with every bit of emotion that comes through self-awareness and discovery.

Self-awareness is more powerful than all distorted realities of who you are. There are no expectations of what could, should, or would have been, it is the ability to adapt to the art of becoming all that you can through a journey of lessons.

Another way of ideally framing the image of normalcy involves a regulated nervous system. It is to be free from mental impairment or dysfunction and making sense of complexities. Regardless of how rare an individual may seem, it is considered normal for the internal regulation of hormones and dietary regimes to ensure survival in an environment.

Medically, achieving normalcy means to refer to risk factors under actionable biological targets. It is the opposite of chronic conditions. There are no strong genetic conditions that engineer throughout the body as inner turmoil or psychological despair.

To be normal means to conform to the commonalities of society. It requires coherence and organization. Philosophically, norms are standards by which behavior is measured in reference to morality and reason.

I was asked by my therapist this week to write a reflection of what normalcy means to me as I shared my efforts to write a memior. I was asked to unravel what I have set in my mind about what normalcy means to me. Since she is also subscribed to my blog, I figured this would be the best way to break it down! (thanks for the writing prompt ;)

I’ve always enraptured a perfect image of normalcy in my mind that I could never quite articulate, regardless of the amount of inner work I’ve done. I often judged myself before anyone else had the opportunity to and questioned, “why can’t I just be NORMAL!?” with tears rolling down my face and an intense amount of anger toward my emotional response to certain situations that an average person may not share.

The picture I paint in my mind is a piece of heaven and the experience of it here and now. It means the ability to thrive and initiate opportunities for betterment under every circumstance without questioning security or allowing the opportunity for failure to come to mind. I envision rainbows and butterflies roaming around a glorious garden with harmony and love in every direction. With normalcy, I hope for unconditional support and encouragement, especially from those I experienced the feeling of love with.

Although, I wasn’t able to recognize what a healthy version of “normal” would mean until I started my healing journey. Normal is what is expected, and most of my upbringing I experienced the worst possible outcome of every situation. Through deep refection, I came to an understanding that normal was the feeling of safety and security with my family, a deep sensation of love in my heart that allowed me to radiate all of who I was, and unconditional support. Normal meant being together with constant laughter and encouragement, surrounded by people who care about me deeply. Normalcy allowed me to be all of who I wanted to, regardless of where I was at or what direction I was headed…However, this was far beyond the case for me.

I remember spending most days of my childhood asking my mom when things would be normal for our family again. However, going back to what was normal for us involved the shattering of glass pieces, aggressive arguments that grew physical, and my six year-old self banging my head on the wall with headphones on to drown out the noise of it all…hoping that the pain of giving myself a concussion would dismiss the experience of walking out to bloody walls and screams of terror coming from my mom that would eventually turn toward me.

The story gets graphic, I know.